Ex boyfriend advice- MEN ages 30-40 HELP ME!!!?

I need some serious advice and insight-


My ex and I have been having fights lately. His father has stage 4 lung cancer and it's gotten progressively worse. J, my boyfriend, is in a state of despression, self-reflection (he has some issues within himself he wants to work out), and intense stress. We have ';broken up'; but, we talk every day and after we have huge blow-outs...we admit that we love and care for each other. We also continue to express that we miss each other and feel like we have lost our best friend. We are in contact constantly and care about what's going on in the others lives.


WHAT IS GOING ON???





Is this person keeping me in his life because he loves me and wants us to work out? Do you think he feels weak as a man right now and just needs time to sort his **** out before he can try and focus on our relationship again? This is a good man, who is 38- not looking to play games and waste time. We are both staying faithful to the other eventhough we are not technically ';together';. How do I interpret his love and continuing to reach out and engage in my life? Does he just need time to get strong again and get a grip on his issues and dealing with his father dying?


We wanted to get married and have a family. Something we were very open and honest about. Should I hold onto faith that this will work itself out since there is so much love? Should I give him space to resolve his stress and issues and trust he will come back since he hasn't really done anything to PROVE that he wants to lose me?


Thanks!





TEx boyfriend advice- MEN ages 30-40 HELP ME!!!?
Dear Mookie 41,





I posed this question to my 44 year old male friend. If your boyfriend's father is dying, the absolute best thing you can do is give him space.





There are a great deal of emotional issues (especially with men) that need to be brought to closure before the departure of the loved one. Without satisfying this to any degree, any other relationship you hope to rekindle with him is doomed.





It may not be what you want to hear at this time, but it is the absolute truth.





The next time you talk to your beau, ask him about his favorite memory with his father. When he shares it, ask him if he has ever shared that story with his own father.





It is the most selfless thing you can do for him -- and you will be the one he will show gratitude to down the road for helping him deal with one of the toughest times in his life.